I've created a new website! And while I am super excited about the new design, I've been struggling to put out the inaugural blog post.
When I first started transferring content over to the new site, I couldn't help but scroll through memory lane of an entire hidden archive: my drafts. Since I started notesforthought in 2017, I have dozens upon dozens of posts that were never published.
I wrote all of these posts from an inspired place. I had small epiphanies or ideas that I flushed out, but for whatever reason, the words never found themself in final paragraphs. Many of the drafts are bullet points of ideas that shaped who I am as a writer, and who I am as a thinker...but none of them saw the light of day.
I think I undervalued those drafts. I undervalued the fact that as a creatively-thinking human, there are so many ideas I have that never come to fruition. I would get down on myself for not being able to make big dreams happen. Falling short of goals or letting projects fizzle away felt like giant failures.
But I think that's just part of being human. There are so many thoughts, ideas, feelings, and experiences that will never escape our own minds, but silently, they're shaping us.
And I think that's a really beautiful thing. It allows so much authenticity in our individual growth. Your big goals and achievements are great, but so are the little things that never became anything. It means that everything matters, and yet it doesn't have to matter but for a passing moment.
In the spirit of authenticity in how I've been working as a writer, this is the part where I try to wrap up my whole collage of thoughts. It's the why or the what now; and it's the part that steals most of my ideas and drags them to the draft folder.
On a personal level, it's the why does this even matter anyway?, but that question is unfair. If your brain took the time to create the thought or pursue a task, there is some reason for it. All of those reasons can be met with an array of value, not a black and white "matters or doesn't."
So keep writing. Start drafts and don't put down the pencil forever when they fizzle away.
Celebrate the accomplishments of final products, even if it took 3 months of scratch-work (and not publishing blog posts) to get there.
You are a work in progress. Rest easy knowing some of the best works are built on the backs of plenty of rough drafts.